This was Bill Parcells unplugged.
The often-curmudgeonly, 72-year-old Hall of Fame coach and executive sat next to moderator Ira Berkow, a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer and former New York Times sports columnist, and was delightfully entertaining.
Yes, sir, delightful.
Yes, ma’am, entertaining.
Parcells was on stage at Florida Atlantic University as part of Berkow’s program on Sports and Society, and, dressed all in black, he was funny, serious and altogether candid during the 90-minute session in a packed house.
Parcells, a most-of-the-time Jupiter resident, led the New York Giants to two Super Bowl victories, led New England to a Super Bowl berth, resuscitated New York Jets and Dallas teams and served as a football czar for the Dolphins.
But the subjects of the evening Tuesday ranged beyond the game, and opened with Berkow telling a story about Parcells’ mother, Ida, having been disappointed that he had chosen coaching as a profession.
“When are you going to get a real job like your brother, Don, the banker?” she asked.
Parcells, whose father, Charles, and mother died within six weeks of each other in late 1983 and early 1984, said he wished they could have seen and enjoyed what became his great success. But he was expressive, and perhaps even a bit emotional, in remembering his parents. Ida, he said, was a woman who “wanted things settled, now” when there was an issue with which to be dealt, and Charles was a man who placed high value on discipline and education.
“Whenever I was around some trouble,” Parcell said, “I’d tell my father, ‘It wasn’t my fault.’ He’d say, ‘Yeah, it’s never your fault, but you’re always there.’
“My mother was from a blue-collar family. My grandfather was an immigrant. Sports were not a priority.”
Parcells, though, was a star athlete in high school in New Jersey, and was offered, as a catcher, $50,000 to sign with the Philadelphia Phillies after graduation. His father insisted Parcells go to college, which he did at Colgate … and then the Phillies offered him $55,000 to sign after his freshman year.
“School first,” his father said.
Parcells went back to Colgate, but not for long.
“I got a little rebellious,” he said. “I hitchhiked home. My father said, ‘What are you doing?’ Parcells didn’t quite know, but his father told him, ‘You’ve got two or three days, because you’re not staying here.’ ”
Parcells ended up at what is now Wichita State University, and soon gave up baseball. He played linebacker in football, and was a late-round draftee by Detroit before being cut.
He eventually embarked on the coaching career that would lead him to the pinnacle of his profession.
Once there, one of the people he acknowledged during his Hall of Fame speech was his ex-wife to whom he was married for four decades.
“She’s the one who kept the home fires burning,” Parcells explained. “I either couldn’t be (there), or I wasn’t. I had to get away sometimes, and going home wasn’t getting away. I’d sleep at night on the boardwalk.
“She did a great job. My (three) daughters are all productive. It would never have turned out that way if she wasn’t the biggest contributor. I didn’t put in the effort.
“Your (football) focus is so narrow and so one-sided that you really don’t know what’s going on around you. I just couldn’t do it a different way. It’s a character flaw. I didn’t balance it. I’m not proud of that.”
It was a touching moment, and a rare glimpse of Parcells in personal reflection.
There were other topics:
• Seattle 43, Denver 8 in Super Bowl XLVIII: “It was 22-0 at halftime. I’ve been in that situation a couple of times. I’d tell the team, ‘We still have time, but a little less margin for error than when we started. … We can win this if you don’t screw it up as badly as you already have.’
“I’d say it in a way to get their attention so there was no way to misunderstand it.”
He objected to the harsh criticism of the play of Denver’s Peyton Manning.
“It’s a symphony orchestra, not a one-man band,” Parcells said.
• Concussions: “We all know what we signed up for. There is some element of risk involved in the game. It’s violent. Things happen. From time to time, there’s a tragedy. We don’t relish that.”
Parcells said the safety measures taken by the NFL are good, but “it’s hard to legislate against a player’s instincts.”
• His coaching style: “If I had a problem with a player, 90 percent of the time it was because my expectations for him were higher than his. I’d say, ‘I think you can do better than you’re doing. If we don’t get that fixed, it’s going to escalate to the point where one of us is going to have to do something. And who do you think that’s going to be?’ “
• His friendship with Bob Knight: Berkow earlier had mentioned that Parcells once said football was not for “well-adjusted” people.
“Another well-adjusted guy,” Parcells then joked when Knight was brought up as a subject. “Birds of similar plumage frequently congregate in areas of close proximity.”
• Bullygate: Parcells, who worked with the Dolphins from 2008-10, said he doesn’t know what went on between Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin.
“Why did Tyson bite Holyfield’s ear?” Parcells surmised. “What did he want? He wanted out. If I bite his ear, I’m out. It can’t be me that got me out. It’s got to be ‘it’ that got me out. (Martin) wanted out for whatever reason. It was a situation he couldn’t handle. It’s sad.”
• The Dolphins’ laborious recent search for a general manager: “I know (owner Stephen Ross) is making every effort he can (to improve the team). It’s not error-free. There’s no real blueprint. The turmoil of the last year probably discouraged some people.”
He later took questions from the audience, then hurriedly exited stage left without ceremony.
