Family, Relationships
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Adopting a child is one of the most wonderful things a person can do. It’s a testament to the beauty of human connection and unconditional love as different lives get woven together to create a new family. Adoption also goes beyond biological bonds, which makes it that much more precious.
But not everybody agrees with that, and one malicious mother-in-law tried pitting her “real” grandson against her adopted granddaughter. Their mother had to step in and take matters into her own hands.
More info: Reddit
Woman blocks mother-in-law and bans her from seeing grandkids till they’re older after she brainwashes grandson into believing adopted girl isn’t his “real” sister
Image credits: Artem Labunsky (not the actual photo)
Couple had a biological son, Malcolm, and adopted a girl, Julia, but the woman’s mother-in-law was enraged by their decision as an adopted kid could “disgrace her lineage”
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
Once, when mother-in-law came to visit, she told Malcolm he was his parents’ real kid, not Julia, and that he should be getting more attention for being “extra special”
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Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
When the poster found out, she texted MIL explaining why her actions were wrong, blocked her on everything, and banned her from seeing her grandkids till they were older
Image credits: u/anonymous
The woman’s husband did not side with her and told her that it was “inhumane” to stop his mother from seeing their kids
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The Original Poster (OP) shared that she had two kids, a 5-year-old and an 8-year-old. She had a very traumatic birth experience with her son Malcolm, and so they decided to adopt their second child. This decision was not received well by her husband’s mom. The mother-in-law was angry and felt that not knowing the kid’s parentage would somehow disgrace her lineage.
Sadly, the in-law’s views are not exactly unpopular. There are more than 147 million orphans in the world, and people still fear adopting children. Although around 49% of Americans have a favorable view of adoption, things weren’t always like this. That’s because the whole topic is surrounded by a bunch of concerns and misconceptions.
Parents worry that they might be unable to connect with the kid or form a bond. But, as with anything, time and patience can solve this issue. Another major concern involves dealing with unknown health issues the kid may have. This is slightly easier to deal with since adoption agencies now share the medical documents given by the biological family. The last major concern often involves possible behavioral issues, and this can be dealt with through counseling.
The poster and her husband did not have these concerns. They truly made their adopted daughter, Julia, a part of their family. The poster even said that, “Malcolm knew to a certain extent, he’s just eight so I don’t expect him to understand fully. I’ve talked to him about how Julia wasn’t brought to us the same way he was but I made sure to tell him this doesn’t make Julia any less of his sister or our daughter.”
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Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)
The problem arose when the husband’s mom was alone with the kids one day. She told Malcolm that he was his parents’ only real kid and that Julia was not his actual sister. Due to her malicious comments, Malcolm had an outburst and retaliated against his sister. His mom was shocked by the behavior until she realized her mother-in-law was to blame.
It’s important to be honest with the other children in the family if one of their siblings has been adopted. The OP and her husband had done a good job of telling their son, but his grandmother fed him a lot of lies. This created problems and led to a huge argument between the couple and the woman with her mom-in-law.
Adoption experts say that there are a couple of steps parents can follow to teach young children about the process:
- Read them books about adoption and show movies with such themes
- Write down notes and keep the explanation as simple as possible
- Involve your child in the process and take them through all the upcoming things to be done
- Be patient and understand their point of view.
In this case, it was fairly obvious that the grandmother didn’t respect the couple’s choice and did not regard Julia as her “real” granddaughter. That’s why the poster decided to block her and stop her from seeing her grandkids till they were old enough not to be swayed by her ideas. Initially, the woman’s husband didn’t take her side, but he eventually came around and set boundaries with his mother.
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Do you agree with the way the poster handled the situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
The woman received an outpouring of support for her actions, and other adoptees shared their experiences in the comments
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